You know when you have all the things you need for the success of your business, your health or the quality of your life but don’t put them to use? What is it that talks you out of doing what you know you need to do?
Listen for it.
What you will hear is a constant dialogue running in your head, moment by moment. You will hear a litany of stories you made up about who you are and why you shouldn’t bother or perhaps why you are or aren’t good enough, or chatter passing judgment about what is or isn’t possible.
This internal dialogue is the relentless voice we hear in our heads. It is typically negative and judgmental and can have a huge impact on our lives.
If you’re running a story that you aren’t smart enough, you won’t stand up for yourself and it will kill your self-expression.
The internal dialogue can cause you to give up on something you believe in by convincing you that you aren’t capable of pulling it off.
Sometimes the internal dialogue is diabolical because it is pumping you up telling you that you are way too good for whatever it is you need to through to get the great job or a loving relationship. This sort of “positive” self-talk can be just as self-defeating as the pure negative variety by telling us stories that are designed to stop us from taking actions in the pursuit of a desired goal.
Sociologist and inspirational speaker Brene Brown refers to the internal dialogue as “Gremlins”. I call it “Monkey Chatter”.
Identifying and labeling the chatter as “not us” can take away its power by making it easier to remember that it is not real. I mean yes we actually hear the voice, but what it says is often not true.
What would be possible if you were not letting yourself be run by these sometimes very nasty things that our internal dialog is dishing out.
Knowing everyone hears it should also help with overcoming the idea that it is the truth. This gives us the strength to talk back to it and change the message, substituting the negative with positive.
Taking action toward our goals is the key to our achieving and maintaining success. But taking action can be risky in the world of trying to look good and not make a fool of our-selves. If we fail, can’t you just imagine how the internal dialogue would go off on you?
If you don’t take the action, sure you will avoid facing criticism and looking bad if you fail. But, you are letting your internal dialogue run your show, which leads to nowhere.
We have the ability to direct our inner dialogue. We can teach ourselves to script more happy powerful lives.
Find your self-compassion and use it to build positive self-talk muscles. Step out of your comfort zone and explore the unknown, and as you do the internal dialogue loses its grip on you and you get more comfortable being uncomfortable.
Avoiding things because the internal dialogue says you will fail lets fear dictate your choices. There is nothing more liberating than overcoming fear by knowing when things don’t go well you will have the skills and resilience to dust yourself up and keep at it.
This is key to being able to take actions we know are in our best interest in meeting our goals or doing the right thing in the face of fear. That way we can take on the big important things that make a difference and trust that whatever happens, we’ll be fine. By doing this we can be the architect creating the life we want to live.