My sister tricked me into signing up for a personal trainer by giving me a session with a trainer she runs with and really admires. I went to my free session last week, and he worked me over.
Afterwards, I signed up to meet with him three times a week, indefinitely. I was also given the directive to go to my yoga class each week and on each of the other days I should do my 4 miles walk on the Beltline. Then he started on the eating plan. The word that kept coming up during the session was “consistency”.
Consistency is a bugaboo, but it really is the key to the universe. Any of us can do anything (well almost anything), a couple of times or even many times for short periods of time. But to get results in just about any area we would like to do well in, it is consistency that counts.
The thing is, I am really consistent in some areas of my life – like work. I get up each day and do what I have to do, which is usually what I want to do, which helps a lot to keep it up. Not so much with me and exercise. I love it when I get into it but then I am not consistent or at least consistent enough to get the results I would like. One of my friends in the neighborhood comes and “walks” me so that I do my miles in on the Beltline several times a week. And I am not a consistently healthy eater. Other people may be able to get away with that, but apparently it doesn’t work for me.
It is frustrating and humbling to admit that this is my weak area in life. Not that you wouldn’t know it, and that fact doesn’t make it any easier to admit I am working on it and need support.
Everyone has some issue that causes them shame. Some people can hide their issue(s) and that may be worse since shame grows with secrecy which makes it harder to talk about.
Sociologist, Brené Brown, a straight talking, hard headed Texan, studies shame and vulnerability as her area of research. You can imagine her utter horror when she had a breakdown of sorts, and had to go to therapy. She went in to her first appointment and gave her therapist a very short timeline for when she needed to be better. The therapist just smiled. Brené realized that this experience of deep shame where she just wanted to stick her head in a hole, gave her a whole new perspective on her research.
After a time, when Brené had integrated her experience and her research she actually did a TED Talk about how it felt to experience the shame that she had been studying. This revelatory talk opened up the world to her. We all knew exactly how she felt.
But when we feel bad about something in ourselves or our lives it is much worse in our heads, especially if we keep it there. We believe it is dangerous to let it out so people find out just what a “loser” we are.
To be human is to struggle, whether it is working on our behinds or our businesses. Resistance rears its head to thwart our goals. It is there at every turn. If something is important, resistance will surely come up and if we give in to it, we experience double shame that we are not brave enough nor consistent enough to achieve what we want for ourselves.
So what’s a person to do? Well for one, I am admitting it and getting on the horse of extra healthy behavior. I am also doing some things to help me keep resistance at bay. I have reached out to people and developed a support team including my trainer, my yoga goddess, my family and friends. And I am talking about it. Whew. I feel better already.
How about you? What in your life has got you hexed and is getting in the way of achieving your goals?